My Version

As my Dad has chronicled the challenges associated with asparagus picking, I decided to add my own two cents.
One of my truck driving jobs took me past several canals and ditch banks. As I was headed home, I rounded a corner and caught a glimpse of a few spears of asparagus poking out of the ground. I quickly slammed on my breaks, brining my 18 wheeler to an abrupt halt in the middle of an intersection. I applied the parking break and bailed out. I ran back across the one lane bridge and retrieved the previously spotted spears.

I kept trying to get back to my truck before any traffic came. Each time I headed toward the truck, I spotted even more asparagus that beckoned to be taken home with me. Finally I clutched my armful, more determined than before to make it to the truck without interference from the begging asparagus. Desperately I ran, one foot in front of the other, ignoring the little voices calling to turn around. I kept my focus and finally reached my truck. Rest of the drive home I avoided eye contact with meandering canal banks and finally reached my destination without any incidence of succumbing to asparagus pressure.

Moral of the story: Once you start, it's hard to stop. Perhaps the Association of the Anal for Asparagus should also adopt the slogan: Not Even Once.